Christmas Bird

On Christmas, which I'm culturally required to participate in despite being a Hardcore Atheist since the Holiday, as celebrated, comes directly from the Gaelic peoples I'm descended from. Traditionally you either cook a goose or a ham on xmas. We bought a Turkey a month ago and its been sitting frozen in the bottom shelf of our freezer, waiting for sufficient health of my mother to actually eat it. Both my folks are elderly, in their 70's, and were too tired and overwhelmned by recent events so I handled the whole thing while they rested. Roasting a turkey is not hard. First, get a turkey. Then defrost it. They're always a bit frozen unless you've killed it yourself. Pull out the neck and giblets, put them in a saucepan with water and slowly simmer them over very low heat. You'll want that broth later, you see.

Wash the turkey inside and out to get off any unwelcome nastiness from the processing plant. Now oil the skin. Some people use soybean oil because it doesn't burn. Some people use safflower oil because it's healthier. Some use melted butter because it tastes better. I used olive oil because it tastes good and its very healthy. Season with poultry seasoning, sage, tarragon, and anything else which smells good that your brain associates with turkey or chicken. Rub it into the skin. Cover the breast with a big piece of aluminum foil. This cuts down on the evaporation from the white meat and keeps it MOIST. MOIST is good.

Yeah, like that.

Stuffing is best when its made with diced onion and celery rather than just Stovetop brand on its own. Prepared with a sauteed onion, better yet SWEAT the onion and celery and sliced mushroom, seasoned with what's on the skin, then add the croutons and stuff in the bird. Cover the opening with more foil so it doesn't dry out. This will absorb the steam and juices in the bird's "cavity" and make it extra tasty.

Put the bird in the oven at 325'F in a sufficiently large pan, possibly with a rack if you have one, and roast for around 4 hours. Its done when the meat hits 160'F in the thickest part of the breast. Use a meat thermometer. If you want to make good roasts, you need one of these. Go low-tech. Its easier and there's less to fail.

Now, go do something else for the next 3 hours. I played video games. Btw, this technique works on chickens too, just shorten the roasting time to 90-120 minutes depending on bird size. Or a goose, if you're so inclined. Or a duck. Duck and goose are both really greasy birds. Salting them heavily is often a good idea, and cook them such a way as to let the grease run out. I haven't had great experiences with either of those birds. Still, I'm sure I could figure out a way if its what I had to eat.

Generally speaking you want to serve pumpkin pie for dessert with this, which means you have to bake the pies FIRST. Remember that. Pie takes around an hour. So do them before you put the turkey in the oven. I realize thats kinda unexpected, but there you go. Cover them with saran wrap so they don't dry out while they cool. Very important. Pumpkin pie tastes bad if it dries out.

Otherwise, side dishes with turkey are the same as Thanksgiving: cranberry sauce, green beans, mashed yam or mashed potatoes. Rolls with butter. The good stuff. A nice white wine or Champagne if you have it. Champagne is cheap enough. Brut is slightly sweet. Dry is not. Expensive champagne has yeast you can taste and must be served ICE COLD. Cheaper champagne doesn't have the yeast so don't bother. Cold enough is fine.

So yeah, that was xmas feast yesterday. Good times. I suspect we'll have soup and sandwiches on New Years Eve, and some champagne. By then my Mom should be feeling much better.