I rewatched the "You Might Be A Hipster" video and found the bit about Geeks and Nerds more appropriate a label for me than Hipster. I do see the videographer's point about Hipsters mostly being Reactionary, trying to gain status by wearing visible and often contradictory bits of cultural pastiche without putting in the work to obtain them legitimately like Geeks and Nerds do. I've done the work. So that's why I can't be a Hipster. It sounds like Hipsters are actually Posers, really simplified ones who use disdain as their secondary defense.
It is amusing to note that calling someone a Hipster is an effective insult. I like some of the things they like, but while they like them ironically, or as an attempt to seize status through vintage vehicles, I like these things because I respect old machines. Mopeds are kinda awesome. I got a response back from the motorcycle safety school. Once I deal with a few lingering issues I can setup an appointment, pay my fee, get my helmet and jacket, and take the class to get my license. After that, its a matter of picking a bike.
I saw the woman I like yesterday. She's like Kathleen Turner's voice and movements and dry sense of humor, only with tattoos, a lot slimmer, and a penchant for 4WD trucks and high heels. She's sexy and smart, things I find attractive in women. She's nice to me, but I'm not sure just how much or little that means. I keep examining whether this is legitimate attraction or some self destructive fixation of mine. Half the time when I imagine having a serious relationship with her, I picture having to defend her from the social situations I'm obligated to attend, thanks to who my Dad's friends are. If she had no tattoos or children this wouldn't be a problem. Why am I attracted to her? Is it physical? Is it just that she's polite to me and I'm reading too much into it? I really don't know if she even cares. At least I'm mature enough to question my own motives here instead of making a mess of this.
I was all depressed Friday when I learned she owned land in Hawaii, because I figured that meant she was working two jobs to retire there. I don't like Hawaii. It's a future Mass Grave, with an enormous population that requires food and fuel brought in from elsewhere and a prime location for frequent invasion by whomever controls the Pacific this year. Post-oil, China and the USA will be fighting over it. Even the current president has shifted most of the US Navy into the Pacific since Europe is a lost cause and the money in the Mediterranean is gone so there's not point having a Med Fleet. Going to Hawaii is only something to be done short term, and only by plane. When the planes stop flying, Hawaii stops making sense. You can be warm. Not to live or retire there.
Turns out that island people drive her nuts and she prefers the sanity of large land masses. She also says that despite being cold too much of the time, she doesn't mind cold so much as having the layers available to be warm enough. I suggested Chico and she said she'd develop a serious drinking problem if she lived there. I pointed out that at least Chico has several good breweries (Sierra-Nevada brewery is there). I asked her about Nevada. She hates that even worse, despite going to Reno often to visit her sister and new nephew. I would like to date this woman. I'm just not sure of myself, or her intentions as more than mere politeness. Considering how badly my choices in women have been, I worry that any attraction I have will just lead to a self-destructive end. I really question my mental health if this is the driving force. Since I know that Ambition is a real poison in relationships I need to know just what the ambitions are of anyone I'd date, since a single encounter can produce a child and 25 years of child support payments, enough to outlast something as feeble as the initial attraction itself. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean it isn't a destructive emotion. And the instability of relationships is a big part of why Socialism is winning, why we're a post-apocalyptic society.
I also have to consider the pros and cons of continued loneliness and proper independence, even to the point of living in a trailer that I deliberately move every few months or a year, compared to sticking it out in a town with the inevitable discovery of murderous nepotism (how many sheriff's sons are drug dealers or serial rapists?), ruinous taxes, and ostracism since I'm not born there so get no advantages. Short of plague in my home town (correcting the problem that made me leave), anywhere I go will be like that. If I had a trailer I could spend a summer in Shasta City or fall in Ashland or winter in Ukiah. Whatever. There's interesting places in the world that I haven't experienced in their day to day.
The thing about a trailer is its a small space, likely to make my OCD worse, and a trailer for two people has to be much larger than a trailer for one. Trailers tend to be for pre-liberation couples, with the socially imposed friendly dominant codependency that Boomers liked so much and nobody else seems to do. The kind with pink fake fur, white patent leather belts, martinis, and Frank Sinatra music. It baffles me, but I grew up in a world destroyed before I was even born. Once we started importing oil, the First World was done for. What's left is a slow motion apocalypse, so slow its dismissed as mere cranksterism. Yet its still detectable if you have comparative photos. Post war, it only took one bread winner to provide for a family. Now? Impossible. We are enslaved and destroyed. The only dependable constant is we can count on things getting worse.
My alternative, which is probably a bit more expensive than a trailer, is moving from town to town, renting/leasing bungalows for the duration and hang onto more stuff than I'd be able to fit into a trailer. I suppose this would be less crazy and a lot more comfortable. This lets me have the welding rig, the CNC setup, and continue my work on transportation, something I've already put half a dozen years into. It would let me rebuild a trailer from a hulk, too, which will be a lot more affordable and give me the insulation level I want. Most trailers have a literal 1-2 inch thick wall with so little insulation its barely better than a tent. With more room I won't be going nuts so fast. I'll be physically more comfortable, with grid power and internet access.
My geekdom requires fresh anime every season. I am a Nerd, a Geek, not a Hipster. I could care less what others are doing. I have my own opinions and tastes. I liked Danger Mouse before the Hipsters found it. I got into vintage non-Harley bikes before the Hipsters did, and I have good reasons instead of "its popular". Small displacement bikes have excellent fuel economy. Wish I knew how to do machining because then I could keep one going forever. If I knew machining I could build the 360 triple with water and oil cooling, naked (no fairing), standard and cafe versions, in good colors instead of just black (boring!), with sensible suspension and tires capable of cruising over the Sierras with a sexy woman clinging to you. These are good things. Sensible things. With machining I could recreate or repair one of those British-type convertibles, the light and unsafe in crashes kind, only with working electrics, and a small engine and gearbox scaled to match so its fun but not fast. Like a Miata, but smaller. A Bugeye Sprite kinda thing. Hipsters wouldn't know how to start. Its too much working doing that yourself. They'd do something more flashy, less effort, throw money at it and pretend owning is the same thing as restoring, as Craft. I respect Craft. People without wives or children to love only have Craft, you know. This is the truth of my situation.
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