Something Good About New Jersey

People say there's nothing good about New Jersey. Its got trampy fat women cheating on their spouses. Its got druggies and mafia. It is the very definition of Sleaze. But people need to remember there's something good about New Jersey. Its far far away.

Yep. Glad its over there, not over here. New York City is the same kind of feeling. I love that New York exists. Its a place for New Yorkers to be, instead of here. They can torment each other, and have TV shows I don't have to watch, and I never plan to visit on purpose, ever, unless there's a plague (always include the possibility of a plague), and its all 3000 miles away. And they mostly don't leave because they've been successfully indoctrinated into believing that New York is the best place on Earth. And for their sake, it is. Because if they came here the rest of us would chase them out of town with pitchforks and torches. New York ought to be its own country, with special entry permits, and exploding collars to prevent them from leaving. For now, the psychological version of the collars is working, but I never want those things to escape. New York is monsters. It ought to keep attracting them from the general population and just concentrate on each other. Never leave.

Someday I kinda hope that we won't see New York TV broadcast here in California, and that California will ignore New York, and Los Angeles because they aren't for People so much as cockroach-things. And San Francisco is just getting more and more expensive. They can keep concentrating the snobs and paying through the nose for water supply piped in from Yosemite, from Hetch Hetchy. California has its own destiny, and we won't achieve that so long as New Yorkers are looking down their nose where we can see them. We know they're socialist bigots who hate everyone. We know that. We don't need constant reminders. If we couldn't see them, or New Jersey, on television they might stop being a bad influence of people who could potentially do better things with their lives than emulate fat cheating whores on Jersey Shores.

This is a big part of why I am a fan of not turning on the TV. We basically get the weather report and the stocks and that's about it from this country. Everything out of DC is bad news. Everything out of New York is horrifying snobbery and socialist propaganda to a background of murder reports where race is carefully excluded. We don't want to be associated with New York out here. Its less savory than Tijuana or Mexico City. There's this whole huge country out here and its nothing like New York. Or New Jersey. You Easterners should deal with them. They're YOUR PROBLEM. I'll watch Top Gear on BBC, and Dad likes Midsommer Murders (same as The Stig), and I've always got time for a California's Gold re-run because Huell Howser was a good man who saw the best in people, much nicer than me. For the rest, I'll take a walk or read a book or cook some delicious food. I don't need to abuse myself putting up with New Yorkers. They can go straight to hell, of course... they're already there. In the civilized world, the places that aren't New York, we already know that New York is hell because it is full of demons. They're on TV bragging about it.