The Volvo Of Scooters

Buddy International is an importer of scooters from Taiwan, scooters copied from the greats. The Buddy Stella is a clone of the classic model we saw in Roman Holiday. Its not cheap. But its durable, 4 speed manual transmission (bicycle twist shifter!), and it gets 140 mpg (if you're gentle) with its 149cc engine and 10 inch wheels.

It's the wheel size that ruins it for me, however. Most reviewers agree that the engines from Buddy are really strong for their size/displacement and run very well. Of course, thanks to the warranty you aren't allowed to work on them. Not even to change the oil. No valve adjustment, no air filter changes. Its all warranty work and good luck finding one of those. Most of these Chinese companies pay the actual mechanic less than minimum wage, so the mechanics find other things to do than work on your bike unless you're willing to kick down the difference between what the warranty pays and what he's supposed to get hourly, and at that point most owners say to hell with it and do their own work, violating the warranty. Since you're paying for warranty to around $2300 of the price of this above bike, that's not a small sum to ignore. This is a $3600+dealer fees bike. With 10 inch wheels.

Pot holes are 3 inches deep in California, average. Most scooters have a two inch vertical suspension. That means the wheel axle is rebounding less than 2 inches from the pavement surface, meaning the front tire gives at least half an inch, putting the wheel axle 1.5 inches from the pavement surface and max load, except of course the suspension is under compression by the RIDER, another inch along with the tire so that 3 inch deep pothole? The vectors are not favorable to keeping the bike upright. The pothole might kill you. For looks the Vespa clones are great. They just don't work on real mountain roads like these. They are an excess of risk. And its a shame because they're cute.

This is another Buddy scooter. Again, 10 inch wheels, two inch suspension, very rough riding around here. Cute! but unsafe. Its a real shame. I'd love to have one of these, but I love not being in the hospital a lot more, and I'd like to be able to devote a trace of my attention to the scenery rather than dodging every pot hole, pavement seam, ripple, root, or tar snake.

There's this Aprilia, which is lovely, but costs a lot, again, being Italian. Its mostly markup. The advantage is it has the traditional CVT. The problem is it has CVT and I live in the MOUNTAINS. There's no engine braking with a CVT. They just go faster and faster down the hill. So good brakes are a MUST. But it's got much larger 16 inch wheels, which are proper motorcycle size. It can survive a pothole, probably, and bumpy pavement. Its suspension is a whole 3 inches of throw, which is a lot for a scooter but really minimal for any motorcycle worth its salt. A standard motorcycle has 5 inches of wheel travel so they go over bumps pretty smoothly.

I'd have one of these in an ideal world where I sell a book and it gets optioned and actually MADE into a movie while still relevant, by a reputable company with a budget? Yeah. Proper vintage bike, lots of handmade details, big knobby tires, a serious front disc brake, and a lovely amount of chrome. Its both shiny and minimal. No nasty pipewrap. I don't actually like Rat Bikes, you see. I've got this whole Gentrification thing in me. I like conservative styles. Even my Aloha shirts are actually an old style.

Since I'm not in need of that level of statement, I'll probably just get the MadAss. It is the cheapest and safest option and light and small enough the neighbors at the hair salon won't mind and the electric start won't wake my neighbors up when I start it up for work. Dad thinks I can get this into the garage, if I buy one. I'm doubtful, but I'm willing to try. The red car could be parked a foot forward, or even two, if we remove some of the stuff there. That would be enough room.

Its supposed to be 78'F tomorrow and the next day. I might bicycle to work, depending on how I feel.