Squids (Unsafe Motorcyclists)

For some reason, unsafe motorcyclists in minimal gear are called squids. I am not quite sure why, but they are. When you ride any motorized vehicle where your body is outside the frame, such as a scooter or motorcycle, you are expected to wear safety gear so that in the event a crash and you go skidding across the ground, the gear keeps your skin from coming off and prevents you getting a concussion. Concussion is frequently brain hemmorage and can be fatal. In way more cases than you would like to imagine. Put another way, nearly every person in a Hollywood or TV show that is "knocked out to keep them quiet while I escape" dies if it were real life. The survivors will have a personality change and may lose substantial parts of their memories or ability do things like use the toilet or tie their shoelaces. It is that serious.

Despite this danger, bicyclists go around wearing little more than a helmet and shave their legs so the road doesn't have hair to grip in a fall, which apparently makes a crash worse.

I mention squids because on Monday, going down Interstate 80 (someday to be a toll road), I was passed by a squid in a helmet and teeshirt and sockless shoes passing me doing around 85 MPH on what looked like a Ducati sports motorcycle, probably a 650. He wove back and forth across all three lanes and if he fell off or wrecked, the helmet would save his face while the rest of him would promptly explode on impact. I'm glad I didn't have to see that because he zipped away. Btw, denim bluejeans last all of 4 feet of sliding on pavement, so they aren't good protection in a crash. Buy Kevlar jeans if you insist on that. And crash gear doesn't protect you from impacts, just sliding. You can still break bones and burst organs like your spleen, for example.

Later, I saw a nice looking BMW with all the luggage crap on it, and the guy riding it was in helmet, no gloves, Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals. What happens to feet in motorcycle crashes is so horrible it makes me distinctly nauseous remembering. Do not, under any circumstance look up the medical term "degloved". Don't. I warned you very seriously. Really don't. It is enough to know you really do NOT want that to happen to you. Degloved makes you wish for brain bleach because it cannot be un-seen.

Why are these guys riding like squids in a Sunny Day in Sacramento? Because it hit 90F Monday, 95'F Tuesday, and 99'F Wedsnesday. Its going to hit 100'F today. It hit a low of 64'F last night up here. It was probably 72'F down there at dawn, which is the lowest temp of the day. I'm glad I got my gardening project in Roseville over and done with Monday because it would be miserable to do it today. We are expecting the heat to build for the rest of the week.

Normal motorcycle safety gear is leather and gets very hot and unpleasant in the summer. My car lets me wear shorts and sandals and has fans to blow cool air onto my feet. Very comfy. A scooter requires you to wear shoes or probably motorcycle riding boots, even though it looks like overkill at 25 mph, most good scooters will do 40 mph, which will mangle your body something fierce if you wreck. So you have to wear gear.

 

Does it have to be sweaty? Actually, no. There is such a thing as toughened fiber mesh which lets air through and sweat out for great ventilation, yet protects you from the road like leather. It isn't perfect, but its far safer than bare skin or a teeshirt. In Long Way Down, the guys who'd started in heavy rains in France found themselves sweating like pigs in Egypt and Sudan and ended up drilling holes in their boots for the sweat to drain out. And cool off a bit. Again, they took the wrong bikes for the trip and damaged them on the roads, destroying suspensions. They also needed proper summer gear, the mesh stuff, for riding across the Sudan (in the safe part) and across the equator to South Africa. Proper planning prevents piss poor performance. If your bike is your primary transportation to get to your day job (do not ride a motorcycle after dark because they go faster than their lights and can't turn corners and light those corners adequately, leading to terrible surprises like potholes, tar snakes, and deer any of which can kill you), you need multiple sets of gear, appropriate to conditions, easy to get on and off for the commute, which is hopefully short, and can be put on over your work clothes without much trouble.

As summer is clearly getting underway here in California, but snow fell in the High Country (visible from Roseville north and south 80 miles), it is completely sensible to wear mesh safety gear. This sounds pretty unpleasant, and is expensive, and requires you either wash the stuff daily to keep away the stink or take the stuff off and shower after arrival. In an office setting, stinking isn't going to work. Or rather, you won't keep your job very long if you do.

 

Stink is also true for summertime bicycle commuters, keep in mind. And on these hills, commuting by bicycle is hard work. In the mornings it is reasonably cool, but climb any hill you will arrive at work in sweat and that will annoy anyone who has to smell you. I have tried commuting by bicycle. It wears you out. I was not doing my best work when exhausted by cycling. Yet another reason to look more seriously at a scooter or motorcycle.

 

Bicycling here is great exercise, and all of the canyons are close to town so you don't even have to go far to hit the hills that test your strength. Some are paved, some are gravel, all are challenging. This is why the Tour of California used to start here. I don't understand why it doesn't anymore. Probably local politics.

 

Bicycle accidents maim and kill people at the same rate as motorcycle accidents, btw. Modern racing bikes can do 40 mph in a race or training session. I have gone that fast on a modest downslope, pedaling hard. It wasn't safe, but I did it anyway. Bicyclists take substantial risk, riding in shorts and a helmet and maybe fingerless gloves. On the flats that is probably fine because it is hard to get up to any real speed, but in canyons? Yeesh.

Now compare the discomforts and costs and risks of a scooter and motorcycle to the fuel costs of driving with your windows down, in comfy clothes, not stinking. $4.11/gal isn't expensive enough to make you deal with the downsides of scooters. Not yet. I suspect we'll need to see $7/gal. before people look at it more seriously. Before enough people are riding to start voting to make it safer, cheaper, and easier. Making the slow lane on the freeway 35 mph, for example, would let even a 50cc scooter work there. That won't happen until the economy gets crushed by having no gasoline at all, suddenly, probably due to some shocking event impacting the oil supply. Then there will be the delays shipping cheap Chinese scooters sold for insane profits by importers, that break down in a few months of use and force the owners to track down shade tree mechanics who can get them running again, over an over. It will keep the mechanics busy. Low-spec Chinese scooters barely work when new, just barely. And they require lots of maintenance and replacement parts to keep running, according to the many reports I've read and watched, including the photographic and video evidence. Also, drop-ship sellers of those in crates might not be honest about whether these bikes are actually legal in California, btw. And they won't accept a return once you've opened the crate. Your problem. When you deal with the Chinese, you're dealing with people who use very sharp contracts for profit, and you didn't read the fine print. They love laughing at you, stupid American.

 

Japan and Italy both charge too much, but their bikes actually work and their warranty means something. And you can buy replacement parts. Suzuki isn't really selling scooters so much as barcaloungers with wheels, and Honda's offerings are best kept to the flatlands. This leaves Yamaha, who also has a drastically limited set of offerings, most of which also only work in the flatlands. In California, where 49cc isn't exempt from DMV rules, this is pointless. They don't sell, except to idiots. You need at least 110cc or don't bother. Also, disc brakes. The hills are steep. The Italian scooters are interesting. Aprilia seems to have dropped scooter manufacturing except for their Chinese 49cc toys. Why they did that, I don't know. They had some good bikes, but they were asking a lot for them. Price cuts would have kept them in business. Idiots. Piaggio is still selling bikes for a somewhat inflated but probably reliable machine like the Fly 150 and Cyclone 125. Those are appropriate for around here. And there's Vespa, which is a division of Piaggio, and they throw about $2500 price hike on those because the badge says Vespa. I object to paying for a badge. If Vespa sold their 49cc bikes for $1500 and their 125cc and 150cc bikes for $2000? They'd have a lot more of them on the road here. They become a valid argument as transportation when they are cheap enough to make sense. As it is, a 150cc is $6000, and that's just plain insane. Particularly in an economy that's half unemployed. So the Italians are greedy, and are destroying their own market.

 

When I see girls riding past on Vespas, usually teens with rich daddies who are either finishing high school or starting at the local college next door, all wear helmets, but few wear jackets and gloves and boots. I hope they figure things out. Most of those girls are pretty and I would prefer for them to not harm themselves.

 

I think if the local city councils started offering a one-time per person rebate, with an annual tax rebate based on verified mileage inspection, in order to not just make scooters affordable but insure they get used, with a higher rebate for approved Vintage models which support the local tourism (the local gold mining towns here have classic Victorian architecture and bungalows so older style Vespas with bits of chrome trim complement the local image rather than clash like race bikes) helps with the city image AND frees up lots of parking spaces since the streets are narrow between those gold-rush buildings. More places to park and cute vehicles is more reason for tourists to enjoy the place and come back again. Tourism provides way more jobs than the drug industry. And scooters rolling around town, and local area bikers coming in for a night on the town on Broad Street? That will bring back the rich Harley owners. Highway 49 is a favored road for bikers, being scenic, pretty smooth, curvy, and going interesting places. Many spend the night in Nevada City during the summer months, as it has a traditional row of hotels and restaurants and is welcoming to bikers.

They also do Mardi Gras. And Soap Box Derby racing. And Victorian Xmas, complete with costumes. And every few years they have Paint Your Wagon at the local theatre, since the story takes place in Nevada City (No Name City) though the movie version was filmed near Bend Oregon because Nevada City hasn't died. Note that there's some art Deco buildings in town too, next to the Victorians and Craftsman Bungalows so scooters from the 1950's still make proper sense aesthetically. And 1960's vintage bikes, including Harley and Triumph, fit in perfectly. This is why I think the town ought to sponsor Vespas and other vintage scooters in town for the local retail and restaurant workers. It would also make sense to have a vintage streetcar roll around town and down to Burger Basin and Grass Valley and back, to link the towns better for the tourists. If the route avoids the ugly bits of Grass Valley but still visits the schools with an electric tram, it would let folks move around for practical purposes, not just partying. This has to evolve in a practical way, and requires sufficient users to justify it, especially tourists and their dollars. With the narrow streets and twisty roads in Nevada City, and the neighborhoods and their crammed together houses, scooters would be better for house dinner parties too, though riding after dark might require a sleepover for the sake of safety and sobriety. You still need proper balance on a scooter, same as a bicycle. Try that after a couple glasses of good wine or quality IPAs. Better yet, don't try it.

 

I hope that any squids reading this remember that there are summer mesh safety gear options so they can ride and stay cool and safe, not risk their skins. With consumer demand, those types of gear will find some more classic lines so they are both safe and flattering rather than ugly. Nobody wants to look like a Power Ranger if they can look like Lauren Bacall or Steve McQueen (respectively). And strangely, a scooter is just as visible to drivers in dull colors as a fast moving rice rocket, and you have more time to notice a scooter since it is going half as fast. Speed kills, squids. Be safe.