Sunday, January 19, 2014

Fun With Bicycles

Most people who think of bicycles are either thinking a comfy cruiser for dating or a fast carbon fiber race bike with really skinny tires and super-tight clothes to show off 2% body fat sculpting.
The above video is from my home town, and a double century is 200 miles. Considering the roads are twisty and likely steep, that could be a very hard ride indeed. If you aren't interested in double century rides, or even single century rides, you may not require that kind of gear. Most of the wind resistance is on you, after all, not the bicycle. And if you've got a belly, a spandex jersey really makes you look fat. It shows every pound. So until you have the sort of body that looks good in spandex, you may want to get into shape on a cheaper bike.

Mountain Bikes are cheap because they are overlooked. Idiots buy fixies that they don't ride for long unless they either live somewhere flat or are too poor for anything better. While I applaud superminimalism, a person with a fixie is probably living on someone else's couch and owes them rent so that's a pretty big negative to their character. Pay your rent. Don't ruin your friendships. And ride a bike with gears so you keep riding.

I'm deeply amused to recently learn that my Costco bicycle from 1995 which cost me $209 with tax really is a Specialized bike, and its existence is the bane and outrage of overpriced bike shops everywhere, despite it being easy to buy components for because Specialized really standardized everything. Isn't that hilarious? Its nearly 20 years old and still going strong on the same chain. Every time some shop clerk sees it, they offer to sell me a new chain and I'm all kinds of NOPE. The old chain works great. Very smooth. Even sometimes sitting in the rain, the surface rust just wiped off and the internal bearings remain smooth. I clean and lube it properly. I remove all the road grit. Makes a huge difference.

Not that upgrades don't sometimes tempt me. I could, for instance, put a pair of good shock absorbing forks on it. Ones that I can service easily and smooth out the ride a bit. It's still a hardtail bike, but the bigger soft tires I'm using and years of cycling on this kind of frame means I already know how to deal with bumps so it isn't necessary. The tires deal with anything up to half an inch tall, and the lower pressure also reduces threat of flats. It would be nice if they were lighter weight, of course, or even a nice tan color so they would attract the eye of motorists. I even see the point of those shaft drive bikes in sufficiently wet climates, like Portland, but I wouldn't bicycle in Portland unless it was a dry day. Biking in the rain sucks. I've done it. Don't.

I'd love to paint my bike bright yellow or possibly cream yellow with dark orange pinstripes instead of the current dark grey because it would be more visible on the road, however I'd have to take everything apart to spray it and that's not an easy thing to do. My Dad is all sorts of against that project. The downside to having a pretty bike is it increases motivation for theft. And around here, there's so many homeless junkies bike theft should be common. At least I don't own a Japanese motorcycle to steal, as those are considered a major target since the economy crashed.

I remain annoyed that Vespa and other scooter makers overcharge for their scooters. It takes 20 minutes to assemble a scooter. Proof:
See? This is cheap and easy, and they're wrapped in plastic now, not metal, so it won't last. All you're really getting is the basic scooter underneath and an expensive warranty which won't let you change your own oil. Screw that. Maintenance is part of the fun. And sunlight will eventually spoil the plastic Tupperware, and its still the sort of thing you can toss in the back of a pickup truck to steal. An idea so common I plan to include it in novels as a running gag.

The next cheapest option to a Vespa is the Piaggio Fly 150, made in China under Italian specifications and quality control, which is better than Chinese indifference. Nice looking, able to climb hills, slightly larger wheels, but still not as good as a proper underbone. It would be far safer to ride an Enduro bike with proper suspension, big wheels for the bumps, knobby tires for all the fun gravel county roads and places to explore, and a bigger engine to climb a hill. A used Enduro is cheaper yet. That's what I'm aiming for, to satisfy my curiosity about motorcycling. However, I've got a bicycle now, so what have I learned so far?

Raising your seat up so you can extend your leg all the way when you pedal makes your pedal stroke stronger and makes you go faster with less effort. This is really important on hills.

Clean the chain completely, and the gears themselves, of all black residue from road grit, then apply more silicone lubricant spray. It is a huge help to reducing friction in the chain and gears and reduces your rolling resistance and improves power efficiency. Apply lubricant to bearings in the wheels and pedals too. When everything spins smoothly, your bike goes faster for less effort, and eventually you can get a tighter sprocket set that goes a little faster. You can tell you're getting stronger when you don't need the walking-speed gear to go up hills. Count the teeth of the gear you're actually using and realize that you can upgrade to a set with that number as the bottom gear.

Weight only matters going uphill. If you live somewhere flat, having a light bike isn't necessary. An aluminum framed bike with the right gears and size will take you just as fast and far as a carbon fiber bike will, at less than half the price. If your bike club insists you need carbon fiber but they only ride on the flats, they're posers. And maybe that's okay if you just want to look good in spandex and parade around that way.

If you're doing hill climbing you feel every ounce of weight. That is where the weight really matters. I wish Amazon's bike store would let you sort parts by weight, and would let you exclude parts that won't list them. This is really basic stuff. I may give them feedback on that. Because weight matters on hills, and I live in hills, I care about the weight. I also care about flats. Thus I'm using wider and heavier tires with self-sealing "slime" innertubes. No flats, so far, despite all the bull-thorns littering the roadside. That's another downside of cycling: bullthorn punctures. The higher the tire pressure, the more likely to get one. I suspect if I get a serious bike I'll be paying for aramid liners to keep out the thorns. Serious cyclists say they despise slime innertubes because you can't patch them for a more serious puncture. And serious cyclists always carry a spare tube in their bike bag, and the patch kit, and a pump, so when the inevitable punctures happen because they ride at 110 PSI, they can patch the spoiled tube at a resting spot with water rather than the side of the road. Inflate, immerse in water, test if patch is good, you see?

I have yet to ride an aluminum framed bike because mine is cro-moly steel. Someday I'd like to upgrade to a skinny tire race bike and join a local club, but I'm nowhere near healthy enough for that. I mostly just ride alone or with my Dad, who also likes bicycling. Cromoly steel is good because after it is welded or brazed together, it goes in an oven and is heat treated to full strength and springiness, making it very strong so it can be lighter than it would be otherwise. Thus crummy old Schwinns from the 1970's were heavy pipes and weighed a ton but modern steel frames are thin and nearly indestructibly strong. Its the heat treating. Same steel and techniques used in race car frames and parts.

I will note that bike shops looking to con people into upgrades hand them heavy parts and light ones, both of which are overpriced, when old ones from 20 years ago are lighter and cost 10 cents on the dollar. My brakes replaced ones with a key load bearing part made of plastic which failed under stress. The new ones are cast aluminum, weigh the same, and cost me $14 for the pair instead of the $90 each they tried to sell me. They were so disappointed I didn't bite. Moreso when I said I wanted to install them myself because it's fun. It is, too.

Working on a bicycle takes common tools, like the kind you use on your car, and is very satisfying. When I noticed my brakes didn't center I corrected that easily, using wrenches. And when I heard them squeak on first test, I sanded their surface to fix that, and roughed the surface of my wheel rims so they'd grip evenly instead of chirp. These are proper things mechanics know, and rarely do on a bike all at once. They make you pay for every step, every visit, so you keep paying labor, keep upgrading parts when they could have fixed everything easily the first time.
Doing the work yourself is satisfying and you will like the results. If you can change the oil on your car, you can upgrade and maintain your bicycle properly. All the fine tuning is rewarding.

I will note the slick tires grip really well on pavement, and the only reason for knobby tires is actual dirt or gravel roads. So patterned tread tires? Why? Rolling resistance is lower on slicks. I coast slightly faster with 2.5 inch wide slicks at 60 PSI than my Dad's 100 PSI race bike tires.

Also note that if you find your neck and wrists hurting, your handlebars are in the wrong place. Swap those out for more comfortable ones. Check the diameter matches, and you may need new cables and guides, and if you DO get new cables, even stainless steel ones, saturate them with grease their whole length. This will stop corrosion for years and make them last longer without breaking on you. A tip that bike shops should know about but don't do because its labor intensive. And replacing the cables is money.

When mounting a new innertube or tires, coat both with talcum powder. Real talcum powder like babies get, not cornstarch "baby powder". They sell them next to each other on the diaper aisle. Be sure to get the right one. Talc acts as a lubricant for rubber pieces so you don't get the tube binding against the tire and torn open. Most Chinese bikes suffer this, and most American big-box store assembled bikes have this problem too. Under braking, the bike tire will probably spin a bit. Let it. Don't let it shred your innertube, stranding you on a ride at the bottom of a hill. Talc fixes the problem before it happens. This is basic stuff, and ignorance is responsible for it being missed.

Another thing to check: make sure the rubber piece between the spokes and the innertube is intact. Spokes move under weight and pinch the innertube, being the primary cause of flats on a new bicycle. Few people check that on a new bike, thinking it should be there so it must be there, but on a cheap bike, or one assembled by a minimum wage employee with no vested interest in success? Worst that can happen to him is getting assigned to something else or maybe fired. Odds are the customer service agent doesn't know either, so can't tell the manager the employee caused the problem. So the manager won't know to train the employee or fire him for sabotaging the bike. They'll just see they're losing money, blame the manufacturer and stop selling them. Once you have the bike, it is your responsibility to make sure that's there.

Lights. If you ride on roads, blinking lights are great at catching the eye of motorists. So are bright colored jerseys and jackets. If they notice you, they probably won't hit you when they roar past. Most people know someone who rides a bike, so most people are careful and sympathetic. Young mothers don't have kids on bikes yet so its young mothers that I've noticed being most likely to drive too close on the road. When possible, route yourself off of busy roads and onto side streets. These may be bumpier, but they are also less likely to have a distracted driver swerve at you. You're only going 15-20 mph anyway. Why borrow trouble?

Mountain roads tend to have drivers on them rarely, and they can be very surprised at your appearance around a corner. If you ride mountain roads, don't use headphones and get to the side of the road if you hear a car coming. Give them a chance to miss you. Don't make yourself a hit and run because you decided to be an ass hogging the whole road. Motorists can't anticipate you being there. I speak from experience. Believe me. I'm very lucky to be alive. Bright colored clothes, flashing lights may give you that critical second for their swerve or brakes to save your life, but only if you're out of their path anyway. If you really like mountain roads and want to reduce your odds of a hit, go the speed of traffic. If that speed is 30 mph, you can't do that uphill pedaling. Instead, get a scooter, take a camera and lunch, and enjoy that as a day off from bicycling. It will save your life.

Where I live the canyons are deep, the roads down them twisty and steep, and the roads back up just as bad, just as unsafe for cyclists. People still do it, but its hazardous for all involved. Be smart when you ride so you don't get hurt and don't leave a motorist facing vehicular manslaughter charges you inadvertently caused. Cyclists really need to be responsible for this. Don't let your pride get in the way of safety.

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