A few years ago I was denounced as a traitor by Liberals when I suggested that Republicans should drop out of the economy so they couldn't be taxed on income they weren't making, add to the burden on social services to bankrupt them and prevent layabouts from getting any kind of benefits by refusing to work, and appear in protests holding signboards that mock liberal hypocrisy with signs like "Gun Control Makes Rape Safer For Rapists" or "Natural Lifespans are 29 Years" and "Good Liberals Don't Need Dentists". The Liberals really thought I was being a bastard, but my parents were married to each other well before my conception. Maybe they meant that as some kind of welcome? Non-bastards are so rare these days. Anyway, this is my suggestion to the Liberals whining and pining and trying to spin this official denouncement of Obama by America. I found this hilarious because I am not a Liberal. I am a Libertarian which is like a Republican with social aversion. I'm perfectly willing to applaud people killing themselves, and morally opposed to volunteerism. Time passed and I realized my hermitage wasn't finding my jobs and my bitterness was making me bad company, so I took up a volunteer job shelving books and having minimal interactions with people who weren't actively trying to hurt me (as my last 4 paid jobs have been). I have a suggestion to the Upset Liberals who saw their politicians fired on Tuesday.
Stop working. Get fired so you can get unemployment, go on the dole, be a burden to society and get back to college and become that carpet weaver or painter or potter or poet you always knew you were meant to be. Stop contributing to the tax base that allows Republicans to fix everything broken in America. Act locally. You can do it.
Become a social volunteer, sit with old people and listen attentively while they tell you about that one time they were really high back in 1969 and pulled a train. This is totally for you. This is you time. Drop out of the economy and just take part in the best of your community, and show it your appreciation and love. Cancel your cell phone and talk to your fellow human beings in person. Volunteer at the soup kitchen. Shelve books at the library and teach literacy. Read stories to children. And do it all for free because you're so generous. You don't need other people's money to be generous. Do it with your own savings. Sleep in your car. Liberals don't believe crime can happen to them because all people are just misunderstood and need love. That's what you tell rape victims who want a gun to protect themselves the next time some huge hulking guy tries it. You're totally right. You should prove it by sleeping down by the railroad tracks or get drunk at frat parties. I'm sure it will go swimmingly.
Once you follow your karma and leave the economy, people like me will work very hard in your now-vacant jobs rebuilding the America your laziness destroyed for the last 6 years. Just saying. You made things worse by voting in that Hawaiian fraud who made Jimmy Carter look effective and accomplished. Make up for all your failures as a human being. Your karma requires it or spend the next twenty generations as a bug. Expand your social conscience and actually do something for others instead of profiting by other's misfortune.
Even someone as curmudgeonly as ME has done more than you have. Out of my own pocket, unpaid. Can't you do more than little old grouchy me? Don't you want to keep feeling superior?
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