Motorcycle Wish List

I don't do Materialism much, mainly because my Ex was all about Stuff, to the point that Hoarding tv show looked like a program about our apartment. I will make an exception for motorcycles and scooters because I've spent years trying to pick the right one. There are factors which narrow the choices in helpful ways, but usually increase the cost. Here's what I've learned, for those who idly wonder if they should buy into a scooter before Iran blows up tankers in the strait of Hormuz like spoiled children demanding attention. Some day, we'll be dropping bombs on Iran and cheering all over the world about it. This is what bad behavior gets you. Ahem.

I live in a place with hills, rough roads, pea gravel at driveway exits, and its California so a scooter requires the same license and costs as a motorcycle. There's no 49cc loophole here. We also lack contiguous frontage roads. The freeway is often the only pass through various mountains so any bike you plan to take out of town better be able to hit 55 uphill or you may die, or worse, get arrested for blocking traffic. Finally, there's a simple financial limit to be aware of: Used Ninja 250 bikes are around $1500 in good condition, and a used Mazda Miata is about $4K in good condition. Any scooter or bike more than that is a statement rather than transportation, which is the reason I don't have one yet.

I like the look of Vespas, however a 2 inch suspension on these roads with pavement seams and potholes is just asking for a wreck. So forget about that. They're great in flat places with very smooth roads, like college towns, but even then expect to spill it over pavement seams and on manhole covers, which are utterly slick and offer no grip. Even weird bikes like the MP3, which has two front wheels for twice the grip, just isn't going to work on California roads, not enough to justify the $7000 cost of one. Vector math favors bigger wheels to avoid wrecks in potholes.

While I've ridden a Tomos underbone with its very poor automatic transmission in Newport Beach, about 10 years ago, and liked the experience, with big hills I know I'd need good brakes and at least 125 cc engine so I'm not run over from behind. I also know that bikes end up on their sides eventually and the big downside of a Ninja is the plastic fairing costs nearly as much as the bike itself to replace, a good reason why people sell cheap fairings on E-bay.

Another aspect of motorcycles and scooters I have a problem with is a new bike has about $500 markup for "dealer prep" which usually means unboxing, changing the oil, adjusting the handlebars and mirrors and testing the brakes and various bolts to make sure its all tightened down. I can't see that justifiable. And it doesn't help that repair rates are the same as a car. Its a scooter. You can buy a new Chinese scooter for the cost of a basic tuneup on an out of warranty Vespa, for instance. Forget about warranty on Chinese scooters, btw. They won't do it here. China pays about $2/hr and no mechanic will work for that, and no shop will honor those. Another little problem I discovered is repair parts. There are scooter companies which can't find the airport to ship parts (Kymco and anything from Taiwan) to the USA in less than 6 weeks. That means if you want to fix one that's broken you'd either better be an expert mechanic than can jury rig the wrong part or avoid anything from China or Taiwan because they're disposable without repair parts. That narrows down the options, leaving Italian and Japanese scooter brands.

That's not to say those are bad choices. The Japanese are 10 days from California by container ship and one day by international express mail. And Japan knows where the airport is. Unfortunately, despite all the cool scooters in Japan, only Honda and Yamaha sell scooters in California. Honda scooters are about $1500 too much and often come with baffling engine choices. Why would they think the 49cc scooter would sell in California, land of fast mountain passes and freeways? No, just NO. Try AGAIN. They desperately need to be struck with a clue hammer and gain some sanity at their scooter division. In Japanese "aho" is the appropriate word. It means dumbass.

1. Honda Metro is 49cc, small and vintage looking, but can't climb a modest hill in San Francisco which is their primary buying audience. Fail. 
2. Honda Ruckus is also 49cc, same problem. Fail. 
3. The 108cc EFI motor would fit in both above frames but isn't offered. Fail. 
4. The Honda SH150i is $4500 and would be a good scooter at half that price. However it costs as much as a proper 250cc motorcycle new so it doesn't sell. Fail. 
5. The Honda Rebel 250 is a popular starter bike, sold once new and used a dozen times. Honda only makes money on that first sale and any replacement parts. As they sell for about $1200 used, its cheaper and better than nearly every scooter, will pull the hills and even ride the freeway legally. It does have a manual gearshift and is a cruiser bike rather than a scooter, but its more economical and functional as transportation than a scooter. They recently upgraded the engine to EFI 250cc, which makes it more powerful and reliable while warming up and if it were a standard instead of a cruiser, I'd buy one. I may anyway. Its a better deal than the above scooters. 

See how that works? Its really tragic that Honda motorcycles division is encumbered by all the dumb. Aho. They are often mocked on forums for sport and adventure bikers for losing the plot. Honda used to make some nice bikes, which are getting rescued, at a loss financially, from the 1970's and 80's and even 60's, with new electrics and a lot of rust scraping rather than deal with the prices and nonsense today. 

Yamaha has a lot better selection of scooters, though its got some dumb ones too, mostly for out of state markets where the 49cc loophole means no license or registration required to operate. In other states, a scooter means you got a DUI and lost your license. Or are an ex-con drug dealer with pot or meth on board. Its rather the opposite in the PRK, since they cost so much here only rich people ride scooters and they're relegated to toys because used motorcycles are better and cheaper. If Honda had put its 500 cc commuter engine in the 1200 cc standard they re-released it would sell like mad. But they don't. Instead that nice engine is hidden in fairings on a race bike. Harley doesn't make a 500cc, nor do they make a Cafe Racer, and so Ninja 300 is the only entrant there. Which is ironic since a Cafe Racer, a pro racer in Australia, spec'd a bike for 375cc, with a triple that got engineered by Rebel Motors in Tennessee, then built in China before the bubble burst killing bike innovation for the next 5 years. A pity because it has potential. These days if you want a triple, you have to spend on a Triumph Daytona and that's a 675 and fast enough to be dangerous. I don't want to be dangerous. I want to keep up with traffic climbing the hill to Tahoe up 20. Why a triple? Twins vibrate, an inherent problem mechanically. Fours are heavy, but smooth. The Ninja 600 is a 4 and very smooth but costs like a car. $13K is typical for that bike new, and don't buy used because those are race bikes and they get revved high and probably damaged engines, thus they get sold broken. There are cruiser 4's, of course, which are even heavier. The Honda Goldwing is a very heavy bike. Great for freeways but costs like a Civic and weighs 500 pounds or more. What is the point? All that weight on two tiny tire contact patches. No thank you. Yes, I wish there was a Triumph 375 triple, water cooled, minimal fairings and exposed engine and that basic 1960's round windshield and club bars like Steve McQueen would ride. Sell that for $6K and you'd have a lot of buyers. A nice looking bike that can ton-up when pushed but is best carving canyons and long straight country roads. Might kill the rider, but everybody has to go sometime. 

Anyway, the Yamaha bikes I liked are the following. 

1. Vino 125, which has minimal suspension but nice vintage look and enough power for 40 mph all day cruising. Probably a good choice for California provided you keep it in town and off the freeway. Small wheels, however, so potholes are a real concern. 
2. Virago 250 V-twin, only I wish it were a standard instead of a cruiser. Might be a good buy even as is, used, since the twin has lots of torque for hill climbing and still gets 80 mpg. There's one used at a local lot, if the ad isn't lying (and it could be). 
3. WR250X-SM. The WR is a fuel injected high performance, very light weight Enduro bike, made for offroad. The SM is smooth supermoto wheels, for fast road riding. I have read of adventure bikers taking these on fire roads and over White Mountain (near Bishop). The SM option means the long travel suspension can deal with crappy road surfaces safely, including big potholes. The EFI means it is ready to go after hitting the start button and gets better fuel economy. For $7K, that's a lot of money, but it will go places that a Jeep can't and if you really want to explore the boonies, this is a great option with the knobby tires mounted. Just go with friends. Adventure biking is dangerous solo. 
4. Zuma 125 is EFI, kinda ugly, but functional. It would be a good buy if it were a little cheaper. $3400 is a lot for a scooter. 

Finally, I come to the Italian scooters. Aprilia, Piaggio, and Vespa are all the same company, just different brands. They're also very expensive since I have seen videos of them being made and it takes 20 minutes from start to finish. And the fairings are soft plastic, not sheet metal, so they won't last in the sun. They're also about $3000 overpriced, particularly since most models are made in Asia and a badge is slapped on when it ships out. Maybe the quality control is better than average, maybe it isn't. But it sounds like pure profit to me. 

1. The Piaggio Fly 150 is $2900 for a $1000 scooter that's still 500% markup because the parts cost $150 and labor is about $40 to assemble it in China. If this sold for $1100 it would be the dominant scooter in the USA. Pity that Piaggio haven't got a clue how to price them to sell. I almost bought one till I found they wanted $600 delivery charge. FAIL. 
2. Vespas have crap suspension, are $3500 over priced, and won't allow you to change your own oil without violating their warranty. I don't like that. They are reliable toys, but only for rich people. Fail. 
3. Aprilia SR-50cc racing scooter, that's EFI and direct injection 2-stroke if you can believe it. Kymco has a 125cc 4-stroke for $1800 which looks the same and passes CARB certification. 
4. Aprilia SportCity which has a suspension with enough travel to cross cobblestone streets, an impressive feat in heavy traffic in Italy. Their 125 would be a good seller in the USA if it were $2000. It seems to be discontinued because it cost too much. Their 250 cc SportCity is award winning, but costs $4500. That's new motorcycle money. 
5. Aprilia Scarabeo 200 is a big-wheel scooter with 16 inch tires to handle crappy roads, but costs like a Maxi-Scooter, which I'm ignoring because Maxis cost like motorcycles, have frames and engines like motorcycles and are basically motorcycles with the downsides of automatic transmissions (no engine braking on hills). The Scarabeo would sell if it were cheaper. As it is discontinued for costing too much, and with primitive suspension, there are better options. The Kymco copy sold better by meeting their market. 

Why am I so mean about pricing? The obvious profiteering doesn't work in the modern economy. Scooters are priced for Rich People, but Rich People buy cars on Top Gear, not scooters. Here's some examples of better alternatives. 

1. Kawasaki Ninja 250. New these are starter bikes for $4400. Used, they sell for less than $2000 and often $1500. They rev to 13K RPMs, can do 100 mph, and get 70 mpg when driven normally. They are freeway capable commuter machines and still fun in canyon carving and scenic roads. Their big downside is if laid down the fairing cracks and your dealer replacement is $1800 for a bunch of plastic. Ebay for something cheaper. 
2. Honda Rebel 250 (234cc actually). Highway capable but not fun on the freeway, these are $4000 new and $1200 used and generally a better price and safety than any scooter. The parts are cheap and widely available. Most people only own them for a summer to learn on, then sell in the Fall. 
3. Suzuki DR400Z, used. This Enduro can be fitted with street wheels and tires and suspension stiffened with progressive shocks and it becomes a reasonable road bike below 50 mph, since it has no fairings. With its standard knobby tires its the go-to bike for farmers meandering their fields and ranches. Cheaper than a horse, and a lot less trouble. Tons of cheap aftermarket parts too. If the roads get worse, this is the one to have. 

If you opt for an old 1970-80 bike, Suzuki, Kawasaki, and Honda had some good ones. While the 1970's bikes are a hundred pounds heavier than modern bikes, they're also built out of steel so they can be repaired. Most old 70's bikes had crap electrics so those need to be replaced but once that's done the engines are a good size and can pull the hills. The exhaust pipes were low slung, chrome, and often 2 into 1 or 4 into 1 as the case may be, but clean and balance the carbs and you can get a nice outcome.

1. Honda CB360 with low pipes or scrambler pipes is a nice looking bike. The front brake can be swapped for a disc brake kit, the parts are cheap, and Common Motor Collective has info on restoring them. They're also popular with Hipsters in Mission District San Francisco because they're vintage bikes and relatively cheap. Hipsters are fans of reusing vintage stuff. Its not fast but its nice looking. I would like one of these, since the Suzuki TU250X isn't sold in California due to Suzuki's feud with CARB. 
2. Suzuki had a nice GS450 twin, a naked street bike that would be a good buy. I would buy one if I knew how to repair it so it always starts. They're a nice power for hill climbing. Just hard to start in cold weather, which is every morning for about 5 months a year here. This is why the newer model was discontinued. Without a reliable way to start, it wouldn't be worth the trouble. This is a machine they should correct and re-release, perhaps with Water Cooling and EFI. 
3. Kawasaki had many models of UJM before they failed to compete with Harley on big displacement cruisers and largely gave up the UJM models. A shame since their W650 of the late 1990's is a beautiful machine and near the top of my dream bike list. Since they're discontinued they're also pretty reasonably priced. 

The downside of the motorcycles listed is they don't have automatic transmissions. The upside is they go through bumps better, are safer than scooters because of this, and parts and repairs are cheaper.