Tiny Cars

Smallest car... in the world. Jeremy Clarkson is the host of Top Gear and is about 6 feet 6 inches tall. This is him crammed into the world's smallest car. Imagine that as your daily cross-town commuter.

And this is the P45, which is slightly shorter than the P50, a creation of Clarkson himself. It looks even more uncomfortable. Note that its technically a gasoline and electric hybrid but it takes about 3 hours and 3 trained mechanics to swap out the engine and put in the battery and electric motor, so its a little limited in that format. Also note that you really can drive an ATV on the road, legally, if you get mirrors, turn signals, and a license plate from the DMV. No kidding. Same is true for dirt bikes converted to Dual Sport (Enduro).

This thing was so cool that they went bankrupt. Pity because it does look really fun.

This is the 1L from VW, a car that gets 280 mpg on diesel. It is... not fast, and its short enough it could be accidentally crushed in traffic and SUV drivers might not notice. Its interesting, and its out of the rain, but its also very expensive and made from Carbon Fiber. This is not the world's cheapest material.

BMW Isetta. Isn't that adorable?

IMZ, whatever that is. Its very narrow. Think of the looks you'd get driving that around town delivering pies. If you delivered pies, I mean.

And hey, a car show for tiny cars in Pacific Grove (next to Monterey).

Here's some tiny concept cars that probably won't be built. They're more for gawking at and shock value to attract buyers to the less ostentatious offerings. They are funny, though.

And lets not forget the Messerschmidt, which was the German equivalent of the Peale P50, all those crappy Communist Bloc cars like the Trabe and the English equivalent. Also the more fun Mini Cooper S, a very small car with 14 inch wheels and whose roof is about hip high. Way smaller than the modern one. Imagine if you scaled down a Subaru body and wheelbase (and weight), replaced the transfer cases and block with aluminum, and kept the engine and suspension tuned to the new weight. That would be a monster fast little car and probably require weird doors to get in and out. It wouldn't sound like a Tractor at least.

And hey, the cheapest smallest car in the world, road legal in Europe but not the USA. The Tata Nano. Can't wait to see THIS one reviewed on Top Gear.

Though Jay Leno actually has one.

I suppose its cooler than the Smart, anyway. Does anyone else think Smart is a terrible name for a tiny car? Should they have named it Zippy? On the bright side, this still leaves open some of the better names for future tiny cars:

1. The Quandry. 3 cylinder 660 cc two stroke with oil injection. 4 on the Floor, and a hard start. 
2. Conniption. 3 by the knee, 2 cylinder Atkinson cycle engine stripped from a Prius with a kick starter. 
3. The Dumb Car. A longer Smart Car with cross-eyed headlights and narrower trailing wheel-base, 6 on the column, manual clutch, manual windshield wiper. 
4. The Crisis. Trailing delta 3 wheel, 4 cylinder 750cc turbo charged dual intercooler with 5 speed sequential paddle shifter but no reverse gear. Its easy to get into a Crisis, but hard to back out of one and they tend to spin out of control. 

See? Good thing we have the Nano and the Smart already. These names are waiting for a creative and self-defeating car builder. Maybe GM needs some ideas? If they get bailed out every decade do they get a special frequent customer coupon? 

There are quite a few 3-wheeled cars, which only exist because they are licensed as motorcycles rather than cars. This means if you drive one in California you have to wear a helmet inside or get a ticket for breaking the helmet law. They do offer reduced drag, bad cornering, and hit every centerline bump in the road, which is california is also coated in oil so you have no rear grip at all. I wouldn't own one. 

I wouldn't mind one of these though. They aren't road legal, alas, but they should be. They're 35 mph slow, of course, and meant for town repair/delivery vehicles or farm vehicles to haul hay or fence repair tools. Like a Jeep with a roof. 

I am of the opinion that fuel rationing is next, after Health Care rationing starts taking its toll on our population. This will drastically cut the costs of Social Security payments since dead people aren't supposed to get checks, even if they still vote in Chicago. That Zombie problem must be the worst. Anyway, with fuel rationing, cutting speed limits back to 50 MPH from 75-90 people currently drive in the real world will allow 35 mph lane in the far right for scooters and these mini-trucks, plus the lower speeds means crash safety requirements are drastically scaled back, meaning weight is too, and all those weird European and Asian cars can come here, legally, and we're all just fine with it. Sure, it will take 20 minutes longer to get there, but we'll be getting 60 mpg doing it with our organically grown biodiesel or whatever. And a 35 mph slow lane also means more electric cars on the road... suddenly rolling to a stop and being too heavy to push because they're full of batteries and weigh 4000 pounds. 

Don't you want that on your road? No? C'mon! This is invention at work! 

Remember, this is the future we're talking about. We're all going there eventually. This is why I watch Top Gear now, and Formula 1. Its that past we're losing, bit by bit, to the modern reality of fossil fuel depletion. Enjoy it while it lasts. And if you do find yourself in a tiny car? Well, try and enjoy it.